Exactly what I needed.

So lately, every night it seems, almost as soon as it gets dark, I have the craziest desire to curl up on the couch with a blanket and watch a movie, and I don't know why!!  Even if I've worked that night (which has been quite frequent lately since I've picked up way more shifts now that school is out) I get home and can't go right to sleep because I'm too wound up, so I just want to watch a movie.  I've tried to curb these desires in an effort to maintain some sort of ability to accomplish something with my life, but it kind of has become a losing battle...Haha.  I've actually had quite the time reliving some childhood favorites like Dennis the Menace and Mrs. Doubtfire (I never realized how dirty it is!  Haha.), a ton of Disney (random guilty pleasure), way too many musicals (including Phantom, Fiddler on the Roof, West Side Story, The Sound of Music, The Music Man, Mamma Mia!, and many many others...), and my all time favorites Australia, and The Man From Snowy River (both set in Australia...weird...haha).

Anyway, there is another movie on the list of recent watches, Forever Strong.  I can't even describe to you the effect this movie has had on me for the better.  Lately I've been struggling a little with church and stuff, and by a little unfortunately I mean a lot...  As many of you know, I've had a serious blow to my self-esteem and morale in the past year, and for about six to nine months I just tried to ignore it, and never dealt with the issue, and it eventually caught up with me, and I fell, really hard.  Luckily for me, no matter how much I have wanted to (and believe me, I have wanted to and unfortunately seriously considered doing so) just forget about the Church and just start a new life as just me, just Kelton, I cannot deny the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I know that He died for me and that no matter what He love me, yes ME!  That testimony has not left me, and I don't think it ever will, and because of that I cannot deny the Church of which I have a sure testimony that He is the Head.  I recently met with my Bishop, and just spilled my guts.  I told him everything I have been feeling recently, and just totally laid it out on the table, which was odd for me, because I've always been the good kid who never had anything to discuss with the bishop.  Other than the yearly interview and the occasional conversation, I've never talked with the Bishop like this before, and I had no idea the power that could come from it.  It was such a weight off of my shoulders to admit and want to fix the pain I've been feeling for a year now.  The power of the Atonement is REAL people!!  So totally amazing.  I just love my Bishop.  He gave me the most wonderful blessing ever, and the best counsel I have ever heard. 

So, to get back on track with the original thread of this post...(I have actually been avoiding blogging lately because I knew what my outlook on life was, and deep down it isn't who I want to be, so I just never bothered to blog...kind of weird I know...haha) Forever Strong just made me cry, and re-realize the power of Christ in my life as my Savior.  It has made me want to be a better person, and to change the things about me that make me unhappy.  I am going to go on a mission.  Someday, somehow, I will be there.  It's not going to be easy, but it will be so worth it, and I know it's what I want to do.  It's weird, but I'm finally loving life again!

 :)